How to Find and Learn From a Remote Mentor

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March 7, 2022 Brand Leadership Business Growth Career Growth Creative Agency Design Leadership Mentorship Strategy

Ready? Set? Find a mentor.

A mentor can be a valuable part of your career process. But hitting the mentor jackpot doesn’t happen simply by blind DMing the biggest names in the business. A successful mentorship happens because of the prep work you do to lay a solid foundation to yield great results — both for you and your mentor.

This episode of Real Creative Leadership is all about your role in building a mentorship that matters. Adam explains why the process involves so much more than “the ask” and requires commitment and awareness that reflect careful work on your part.

Join us to learn what it takes to get the guidance you need from the mentor you want.

Watch this episode to discover:

Which questions to ask yourself before drafting that email
What “self work” is and why it’s important to a mentorship
When expectations figure into the mentor relationship
How to take advantage of the opportunity by giving back first

Adam Morgan

Creative Leader and RCL Host

The Stoke Group

Digital Marketing and Full-Service Content Agency

Transcript

RCL Episode Season 3, Episode 2
How to find and learn from a remote mentor

Opening quote (21:31)

There’s so much opportunity out there and it’s open to anyone. You just need to take a little bit of time to work on yourself. Do some searches, look through your network. I know that if you put in the effort, you’ll eventually find a great mentor — someone who can make a big difference in your career.

Adam Morgan:

Hello and welcome back to Real Creative Leadership. This is season three. I can’t believe it’s season three, episode three. We’re really, really moving along and thank you for everyone who’s stuck with us through all this content. Hope you continue to find value in it.

Anyhow, let’s move on to what today’s topic is about. I’m really excited about this one. This is a question we get a lot. When I’ve reached out and said, what are topics you guys want to see, or when I go to conferences and speak, inevitably, I get this question constantly.

It’s, “How do I find a mentor? I need a mentor. I need to really improve my career. I need to take that next step, so I need a mentor to get there.”

I’m going to talk all about that, at least with my lived experience through this session.

Then in the next session, I’m going to bring on two others that have gone through formal and informal mentor programs. They were actually a mentor/mentee partnership at Content Marketing World. We’re going to get to hear their story next, but first you have to listen to me and let me get through a lot of the content that I feel is really valuable in terms of how you find a mentor.

Even today, how do you find a remote mentor? Because most of us are still remote during this pandemic. We’re trying to find a way to connect with someone without being there in an office or at a formal event.

Let’s get into it. First, I want to talk about why you need a mentor. This is really important because I see this a lot and it’s like, I’ll get a request on LinkedIn. Someone will reach out and say, “Hey Adam, can you be my mentor? I’d love to hear from you or talk to you,” or whatever it may be. I get a lot of those and I’ll usually say sure, and I’ll set up a exploratory meeting for like a half an hour just to kind of get introduced and talk about what they’re really looking for and see what’s really happening.

Inevitably in a lot of these situations, what happens is someone just wants to meet with me because of my role at Adobe and they want to sell me on their company or their idea. They’ll say, “Hey, we’re a video production company and we want to get work from you” or, “Hey, I’ve got this other little kind of entrepreneurial idea and I just want to vet it with you,” and that’s not what a mentorship is all about.

The first thing I’d say is really understand what you want to get out of a mentor relationship and go into it with a real direction and a real purpose, rather than just trying to pitch an idea or vet some idea to someone, because that’s just not fair. Cloaking it under the idea of a mentor program or a mentorship is really bad form.

The benefits of mentorship

What is the real value you can get out of a mentor? Let’s really talk about that. Why do you need one? There really are three big things that you can get, that you can expect.

Number one, to grow faster with guidance and direction. It’s really like you are getting a guide. That’s why you’re going after a mentor. You have a plan, you just need someone to kind of point you in this direction or that direction. That’s really what you’re going after, is to grow faster with guidance.

Number two, another good reason, is to build a network. Today relationships are a big part of business still, even though that sounds like the old boys club, but it really is. It’s not about having an unfair advantage. It’s really about getting to know people and getting connected and finding opportunities because it’s such a huge world. Especially as we’re remote. When I’m looking at job opportunities or job offers, and I’m looking through hundreds and hundreds of resumes, it’s really hard to know every person individually. Having a network and having connections are really, really important.

Then finally, the third thing you can get out of a mentorship are recommendations. That’s because sometimes you may not have any idea of where to go next, what step to take? You may have an idea and you just need to bounce it off someone. Having a mentor to be able to give you a good recommendation is critical.

What mentorships are for — and what they’re not

All right. That also brings us to this question of, why do we need a mentor? It’s like what, it is not. Getting a mentor is not just to get a job offer. You’re not connecting with someone just to hopefully get a job. Then you’ve got the wrong intention. Maybe a job comes from it, that often happens, but that’s not your first intent.

It’s also not about forced connections. If you’re just reaching out and wanting to get connections and you’re really not a good fit, or you’re not showing that you’re putting forth effort or whatever it may be, it’s not going to work out. Actually, it’s worse for you to try and create those connections if you’re going to drop the ball and ruin it.

It’s also not a therapist relationship. There are many times that I’ve talked with someone on a call and they just want to vent and they want to just talk about all the problems they’re having at their work. Or they’re wanting to talk about the frustrations they’re having. That’s not what a mentor relationship is all about. Go get a therapist for that.

Finally, it’s also not a silver bullet. A lot of people go into a mentor/mentee relationship thinking that this is going to solve all their problems, that they don’t know what to do and they’re lost and blah, blah, blah, but there may be bigger issues that they need to figure out first. Because in any of these situations, you have to do a lot of self-work first and you have to set realistic expectations. This is not a silver bullet that’s going to solve all your problems and fix your current job or help you find that perfect job. It’s just guidance. It’s just a way to get a little more direction, a little more of a vision, something, but it’s not going to solve everything. As long as we understand that, if you understand why you need one and the real reasons of why you should go after it, then perfect.

Alternate options for a mentorship

Now I want to take a minute to first talk about alternate options because maybe a mentor isn’t the answer for you. I know that sounds terrible, but maybe it’s not. If you’re looking for growth and you think the only answer is to go out and message someone on LinkedIn, someone famous and then get their personal guidance like maybe, maybe not. It may not be an answer. Here are a list of things that you can do on your own that are a great way to grow your career without having to necessarily have a mentor.

The first one — which may not come as a surprise, because I say this all the time — is to read a book. Read to lead. There are so many good books out there. On an earlier episode we had talked about how if you really think about it, an author or a book, that’s just like having that personal mentor and they’re giving you all the knowledge that they have, right? Every author is your mentor. If you’re really looking for growth and guidance, why not go read a book? There are a lot of great ones. If you want, ping me, I can send you a book list of a lot of great books.

It’s important to just have that perspective that an author can be your mentor. Read a lot of great books, get a lot of great insight. That’s the first step that you should be taking on building your career.

Number two, listen to podcasts. There are so many. If you don’t like reading books, you can always just listen to podcasts. People are having guests on there that are giving you good advice. Even solo sessions can give you inspiration and guidance. More than just listening to podcasts, you should get engaged. If you’re going to get into a mentor relationship, that’s a lot of work and you’re going to be asked to do many things. Why not dip your toe in the water and practice by getting engaged and asking questions and responding to everything on that podcast. Podcast hosts want you to be engaged. I would love you to be engaged on this one. Get into the comments on the website, like realcreativeleadership.com or on a YouTube channel or on a podcast platform. Ask questions, respond, get engaged. That’s the first step before you get into a formal program to see if it’s really the thing for you.

Next, online courses. It’s phenomenal. It’s like having those instructors one-on-one teaching you great content. I take MasterClass. I go to CreativeLive and I watch those videos. To me, it’s like have that personal relationship with those teachers because I’m just listening intently. I’m right there with them. It’s like I’m in the room with them and they’re giving great guidance. It’s like having virtual mentors times a hundred, because there’s so many of them out there. Go to online courses. Pay the money, get engaged, get to a platform, whatever, and just start taking courses. I think that’s a good first step as well.

Next after that, another great option is to get a degree, go for formal education. It’s not just that you’re going to be learning stuff and grow your career. Maybe you’ll say, maybe do a degree that you would normally not go after, like one that’s in UX design or maybe in content marketing or strategy. I went and got a degree in marketing strategy just to see what it’s like on the other side of the fence, right? A big part of those degrees and that formal education are the connections. That’s what you’d be getting out of your mentorship anyhow. Go to those programs, meet with the other students, meet with the professors, get those connections. That’s a huge part of growing your career, making connections.

Next, join a professional club. There are clubs in every state across the nation that you can get involved with. Go to their events, talk to them, get involved. Online, there are online events. Go to them, get involved, ask questions. It’s really just getting engaged. That’s really what a lot of these suggestions are about, is to go out and get engaged with other people so you can learn from them.

Finally, If you are just hating your job, you’re not learning and you feel like you need something to take that next step, get to the next level, go get a new job, get a new boss. Transfer to a new department. Learn a lot from your team, from a new boss or a new manager. There’s a ton you can learn in those situations and you don’t have to just wait and suffer and be miserable in your current job or your situation. Go out there and make a change.

So those are alternate options to getting a mentor, but now let’s dig into it because there is a lot of value from a mentor. Let’s just go into all the steps of getting one.

Key steps for finding a mentor

Before you even consider getting a mentor, there’s a lot of work that you need to figure out.

Number one, before you even search for a mentor, you need to figure out your career plans as best you can. Because here’s what the mentor is not — they are not a soothsayer or someone who can guess and read minds and figure out the best plan for you.

Most of the time, they’re just going to be asking questions and trying to figure out your situation and see how they can give some guidance or some insight.

Before you even get there, you better have it figured out on your own. Map out your plan, read books, figure out what your next steps should be. What do you want to do with your life? What do you want to do with your career? What are the goals that you need to make? Figure out your goals, find gaps. Then once you’ve identified those gaps, then you can go to a mentor and say, “I need you to help me with X.” That is super, super valuable in a mentor relationship.

Do research, figure out what kind of a mentor you actually really need, what kind of guidance you really need. Because if you just say, oh, I need a mentor, I go and find someone, it’s going to be an awkward first couple sessions until you actually land on what you really need. Do the homework first. Figure out what you want, know what you need, know what gaps you need to fill. Then you’ll get a mentor.

Okay so next, how do you get a mentor? That’s the million dollar question. How do I get one? My school or my work, there’s not a formal program. What do I do? First of all, look first at family or your current network. You’d be surprised. There may be an uncle or an aunt who’s in the industry, or maybe you already know someone and they have a friend, whatever that may be. You have a higher chance of success of someone accepting you as a mentor, especially if it’s an informal program, if they’re in your current network. Look through all the people you currently know — through school, through work, through friendships, whatever it may be — and try and figure that out first, because they will have a vested interest in you. They will care about you and your career. Whereas going blind to someone on LinkedIn, there’s not even a connection. We don’t even know each other. Start there.

Second, if you find nobody in your current network, then look for some formal programs. Again, like I said, on our next episode, we’re going to talk about some formal programs and people who have gotten into those and how helpful they are. They’re going to give you some tips on how to find those formal programs. But it’s not that hard. You could just go to Google. Programs that are connected with your industry, with your work, with professional networks, magazines or professional clubs. Many of these groups have formal programs.

Then after you’ve done that, then go search through your secondary network and look for referrals. Look through friends of friends of friends or whatever it may be. If you have a connection, they may know someone at a certain job or industry or whatever it may be. Search through your secondary network after all those other things. If you have no luck from that, then finally go for a blind request to an industry expert. I’m going to talk a little bit more about this here in a second.

Finally, the last advice I may have is maybe, just maybe, you need a professional and you need to just hire a career coach. I’ve got a career coach, super helpful. Bouncing ideas back and forth and working through my career path. Consider that, because there are a lot of them out there trained and they have great ideas and they can help you. If the formal programs aren’t working, then go formal with a trained career coach.

Once you’ve identified a potential mentor

Okay, so what happens once you identify a mentor? Before you’ve even reached out to them, let’s say we’re going to talk about making blind contact with someone or reaching out to someone and all the steps you need to take. Before you even reach out, before you send a little note to them, you have a lot of homework you need to do first.

First, you need to know everything you can about that person. Read about their work, follow them on social networks, LinkedIn, wherever. Buy their books, do whatever you need to do, but understand them first because you may get a whole bunch of information. Let say they are an author or they’ve been on a podcast or something like that, watch those and see what you learn first, because then you don’t have to redo those steps later on when you’re working with them. Understand all the work that they’ve put out there.

Then next, give back first. This will be a real commitment. I know it’s asking a lot, but in reality, when you get into a mentor relationship, they’re going to ask you to do things. Doing some of this first shows to them that you’re committed, shows to them that you’re willing to put in the hard work and that you’re not just doing this on a whim and then wanting them to solve your problems. Right? Go to whatever they’re doing, follow them, share their content, do whatever you can. Following their company, do whatever to help them before you even reach out, or even maybe even at best help them to see who you are or know who you are.

I’ll tell you, when I’ve seen people share my work, follow me and they’re visible to me, I am so grateful because they’ve done that for me, that I’m so much more willing to give of my time and effort to help mentor them and do whatever is needed. Just get connected and give back first. That’s super, super critical.

Okay, so let’s say you’ve done that. Hopefully by now they’re aware of you, so now it’s time to make contact. If they’re not aware of you, or at least you’re not connected in a certain way that has some visibility, if they hear about you and then go back and start looking about who you are and how you’re connected, then go back and do that. Once you’ve done all that and you’ve made contact, the first thing is be very clear and realistic about what you’re asking.

Here’s a great example of this. There was a woman who was in the creative world of marketing, and she contacted me and had a very clear ask and plan. She said, “Adam, I would like you to be my mentor. I would like to meet once a month on this certain day of the month. I will come with certain questions and a plan. I will send it to you a week ahead of time so you have time to look it over, and I would like to discuss X, Y, and Z with you and hope that you can help me to grow in my career.” That was phenomenal. Of course, I said yes. We met for many months of going over her situation and how I could help.

Just being very clear about what it is she wanted, made me more willing to do it versus I’ve had many contexts where someone reaches out, “I want to do this. Let’s have a mentor/mentee relationship.” We’ll do one meeting and we’ll talk about things. It’s just very unclear. I’ll give some advice and say some things, but then we go away and it just ends there, right? Nothing else has happened because we didn’t have expectations set. It wasn’t a clear ask. Be very clear when you contact them, what you hope to gain and exactly what gap you’re trying to fill and why that you’re reaching out.

Let’s say they respond, what’s the next step? Then you need to, number two, make a plan. You need to set real expectations. Here’s some other things that you should be important. A timeline. How long are you going to meet, when are you going to meet, what time are you going to meet, for how long? For three months, for four months, for one month, for three sessions?

When you go to get a professional coach, they’re very clear on all of those things. The frequency, the setting, is this online, is this meet in person. Whatever those things may be, but you need to figure all that stuff out and make sure you have a plan for all of it so that you’re having a good program. If you go to a formal program, they’ll have all that stuff baked into it. If you’re doing an informal program like this, then you need to have that structure figured out. Otherwise it just makes it awkward over time. Again, it just becomes nebulous.

Next, if you have a plan, you need to make sure at the end of each session that you know what homework you’re going to do or what goals you have to work on. Explain that to the mentor. Say, “Okay, here’s what I’m going to do. I’m going to work on this and by next time we’ll have this done, or I’ll have this figured out.” Those things are so helpful so that it’s not just a waste of time just sitting back and yapping, right? It’s a lot of work. Again, a lot of work. If this sounds too hard, go back and read a book or listen to a podcast, start there. But if you’re ready to commit to something like this, be ready and make sure you have all this stuff figured out.

Again, I can’t emphasize this even more… Finally, you just need to do the homework, do the homework, do the homework. So many don’t and it ends after one session and there’s no growth. I know people just want an instant answer and that’s just not going to work.

If you are lucky enough to find someone, please follow through. Please follow through, do what they say, get the insight. Here’s why. Here’s a good lesson. I’m not sure about this quote, but I know I read a book by Naval Ravikant. He’s shared a story about being a millionaire, right? He said if you drop me in the middle of a third-world country with absolutely nothing, within 10 years, I’d be wealthy again. It’s funny because a millionaire is made by the decisions and actions that you learn over time. It’s not just because of luck or whatever. That’s the same thing with a career.

A successful career is made by the decisions and actions you make over time. If you are trying to get help with a mentor program, then you need to do the homework because it’s those actions and decisions that you make along the way that are making you better. It’s not just the random advice. You could do 10 mentor programs with 10 different people and get the same advice and if you don’t put it into action or you don’t try, it’s just going to roll right off your back. It’s worthless, right? If you want to be successful, you have to do the homework and you have to make sure even if they didn’t formally say, “Here’s the homework I want you to do,” you need to be thinking in any interaction you have with someone of like, what am I going to take away from this? What am I going to change? What am I going to do differently? Otherwise, you’re wasting everyone’s time. To become successful, make the decisions and actions happen as you go along.

How to successfully close out a mentorship

All right. The last thing I want to talk about is how to end a relationship or end a program. You need to end it in gratitude — not ghosting. So often people just disappear and don’t say anything more and it ends, and it’s awkward and weird.

Remember, a big part of these programs is to create a relationship, an ongoing relationship. If someone ends the program and says, “Thank you, this has been so valuable. This is what I’ve learned from it. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you,” the mentor is going to be so much more invested. Even if something came up later, they’re going to want to help them out and do whatever it takes, right? Don’t ghost someone at the end. Even if you have an exploratory thing and it’s not a fit for you, end it with gratitude. Send them a note. “Thanks for meeting with me. This was all awesome. I’ll take this advice. Good luck.” End it in a nice way.

That’s the end of my guidance on getting a mentor, how to find a mentor, what you need to do beforehand, what are alternate things you can do. All of that. There’s so much opportunity out there and it’s open to anyone. You just need to take a little bit of time to work on yourself. Do some searches, figure it out, look through your network. But I know that if you put in the effort, you’ll eventually find a great mentor. Someone who can make a big difference in your career. Then let’s not forget that you will be making a big difference in your career. It’s something that’s totally worth it.

Hopefully this has answered a lot of those questions that people have. Why do I need one? Where do I get one? How do I do it? Again, we’re going to have a session next. Our next session is going to be inviting some other people who’ve gone through programs and talking with them about their lived experience. Hopefully you can get some more out of that as well.

Thank you for listening. Thank you for tuning in. Again, this is Real Creative Leadership. I’m your host, Adam Morgan. Please look for future episodes at realcreativeleadership.com or you can look on YouTube and just search for Real Creative Leadership, or search for Real Creative Leadership on any of your favorite podcast platforms.

I encourage any of you out there listening, if you’re trying to get a relationship with me, get out there, get engaged with the program, start sharing, get involved, reach out to me. If we’re a fit, great, then let’s chat. I’m open to helping when I can, not everyone, but the relationships that can fit, I’m ready and willing to help. Thank you. Have a great time and we’ll see you at the next episode.

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